What I Didn't Say
by XxWolfSpirit20xX
Summary: They are 24, and Kyouya is getting married to Haruhi. Tamaki is the best man, but he has some hidden feelings for the to-be husband. But he bites his tongue in fear, and stays silent in the background. Onesided TamaKyo Till the end of it and KyoHaru.


_Yo! This is me, Kat. Yep, this is a songfic to the song 'What I Didn't Say' by Saving Jane. But whatever, I think it's good. It's TamaKyo. Sorta, I mean it's not onesided, they both have feelings for each other... Just... it's one sided until the end... I guess. It's like TamaKyo, and KyoHaru. But yeah... So... Um there is a bit shonen-ai and such in here. So yeah. No flaming on how gays are wrong. But other than that, no warnings._

* * *

~What I Didn't Stay~

Secrets told in the pictures on your skin,  
Hours fade into days that never end,  
I see myself reflected in your eyes,  
And I hate the way I'm wearing all these lies.

Tamaki smiled almost sadly at his friend. His best friend, Kyouya. He tried to keep the sadness from showing on his face, they were 24, school had long been over, Tamaki had proven himself to his grandmother, and he would be the successor to the Suoh's line. But, to do that, he had to keep his tongue bitten, now his best friend was marrying Haruhi. He wished he were in Haruhi's place. That it would be him that Kyouya was marrying. But no, he couldn't. Kyouya, despite trying to stay cool, was nervous, and only Tamaki could tell. Everyone else didn't notice, they just thought he was being his own, controlling, perfectionist self, having to keep everyone in line as he had always done in Host Club. Tamaki was his best man for the wedding, of course. He invited the rest of the Host Club, and everyone was there, waiting int he chapel.

Kyouya sighed, slumping down in a chair, and running a bony hand through thick black hair. "Don't do that," Tamaki said, almost too cheerfully for the emotions he hid inside. "You'll wrinkle the suit," he said, and was met with a look that said, 'I don't care.' He sighed, sitting next to his friend. "Kyouya, aren't you excited? You're getting married to the most wonderful girl in the world!" Tamaki said.

Kyouya sighed heavily again, adjusting his glasses in the same manner as he always has. "Yeah," he said. "I'm excited but," he looked up, glancing around. "My father forced me into this marriage." He looked at the blond, and shook his head. "Nevermind, you wouldn't understand."

'Of course I would, Kyouya... I'm unable to be with the one that I love, it hurts. It hurts too much,' but he didn't say anything, he just sighed. "You don't like Haruhi?" he asked dumbly, swallowing quietly.

"Yes, I do like her, but not enough to marry her and live with her. Let alone having children with her," he said, he and Tamaki had a close connection, so he knew he could trust his friend. He just had no idea how much seeing this hurt him. "But there's no way out of it," he said standing. "There's no one that my father likes better."

"But Kyouya," Tamaki said. "You should be able to choose, it's your life, not his," he said. "You should tell him that."

"It's almost time," Kyouya said, standing up.

So I let you go,  
And I watch you leave,  
And I hold my breath,  
So you don't hear me scream,  
When you walk away,  
But the words are only in my head,  
It's not what I said,  
It's what I didn't say.

Kyouya walked towards the door, out of the men's dressing room. Tamaki took in a long breath, holding it as he stood and followed him, along with the other groomsmen. 'Kyouya... Don't do this, I love you. I've loved you with all of my heart since the day I met you, if you don't love her, then why are you marrying her?' he wanted to shout and yell and scream at his friend. He wanted to disappear into oblivion and die, he wanted to run away find a closet and cry, he just didn't want to have to watch this. The love of his life, getting married to a girl from their school, forced to get married to her. Though Tamaki wished no harm come to Haruhi, and he would never dream of breaking her heart, but his own was shattering into a million pieces.

The doors opened, and Kyouya walked down the aisle, Tamaki and the other's close in toe. Kyouya took elegant strides, wearing a quite blank face. He couldn't let anyone see that he didn't want this, if he did, questions would arise. Everyone took their places as they awaited Haruhi's arrival. Tamaki wanted to stop it, though, he wanted to pull Kyouya out and tell him everything, he wanted this wedding to be a disaster, but he would never do that to either Kyouya or Haruhi. The doors opened once more, revealing Haruhi. She had blossomed quite a bit since high school, she grew her hair out again, it was done up in a bun with braids, and the dress was simple, it was made of silk, a creamy white color, and it went down to the floor with a small train. But it looked great on her. Tamaki tried to look un-phased, but it was hard to, to know that in a matter of moments that the love of his live, and Haruhi would be married.

They said their vows, Tamaki biting his tongue the whole time, even as he asked for rejections. They said their 'I do's' and the wedding was over.

Is she everything you wanted her to be?  
Yeah, I bet she never breaks your heart like me,  
So it's one more night I cover up with you,  
And I hate myself for what I didn't do.

Tamaki curled up in his bed, clinging to memories of when he and Kyouya dated in high school, but it was just a short fling that ended as soon as it started. But he never let go of those feelings that he got with Kyouya. He couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking of him, him, in the tux, with Haruhi as the bride. He sighed, turning over and looking at the clock. It was only 7 pm, he had just had dinner, and retreated to his room, like the child he always was inside. Though he knew he had to move on, he just couldn't. The phone rung, it was Kyouya.

Tamaki sighed, heaving himself up into a sitting position as he answered, "Hey," he said, trying to sound happy. He shifted a bit, playing with silk sheets, and his heart breaking over and over again.

"Hello," Kyouya's calm voice was on the other end, but there was another emotion hidden under it, was it nervousness? Or happiness? He couldn't tell, not until he said the next words. "I'm going to be a father."

Tamaki's breath caught in his throat. His heart giving a violent and most painful jerk, tears welling in his eyes. "Th-that's great, Kyouya," he said, his voice raspy, and cracking at random points. "C-congratulations," he whispered.

"Tamaki, is everything okay?" he asked, concerned with his friend's reaction.

"N-No... I'm f-fine," Tamaki said, lying horribly. "I-I'm happy for y-you, K-Kyouya," he mumbled, holding back a sob.

So I let you go,  
And I watch you leave,  
And I hold my breath,  
So you don't hear me scream,  
When you walk away,  
But the words are only in my head,  
It's not what I said,  
It's what I didn't say.

"What is it Tama-" click.

Tamaki folded his phone closed, and threw it against the wall as sobs shook his body, curling down into blue silk sheets as he cried. Why was it now that he was getting so emotional? He kept it together at the wedding that was about six months ago. The phone rang again to Kyouya's ring tone as he continued to cry clutching to the sheets.

Should've known better, now,  
All I have left is a permanent stain,  
The only part of you I get to keep forever,  
To prove I lived this pain.

Tamaki sat in the waiting room in the hospital with Kyouya. He had just gotten there, and they were setting the room up and getting Haruhi changed and such. Kyouya tapped his fingers nervously against the wood arm rest, glancing ever-so-often at the clock from behind his glasses. "Don't worry, Kyouya, this is your hospital, anyways," Tamaki said, knowing everyone would be going head over heels to keep the Otori happy.

Kyouya sighed, "Yeah," he said. A doctor came up giving them permission to see Haruhi. Kyouya stood, but Tamaki stayed. "Aren't you coming?" Kyouya asked his friend.

"W-Why?" Tamaki asked, looking up at Kyouya.

"Because I want you to be there," Kyouya said. "In case I don't make it," he said jokingly.

Tamaki laughed a bit at what he said, standing and following him in. He stood near the door as Kyouya walked to Haruhi's side, giving her a kiss, and holding her hand. Tamaki had to look away before he cried. "Oh, hi, Tamaki," Haruhi said, Tamaki looked up at her, and forced a smile.

"How're you doing?" Tamaki asked.

"The doctors say it's coming along fine," she said.

* * *

Kyouya and Tamaki watched as the newborn baby slept in the nursery. They were alone, looking at Kyouya's new baby girl through the glass. "Kyouya," Tamaki said, taking a big breath, and trying to gain courage.

Kyouya turned to look at him, nodding for him to continue.

_"Kyouya, well... I've love you, and I've always loved you ever since the day we met. I know that all you thought of it was just a stupid fling in our senior year, and I know that there is no possible way that we could ever be together, and I've always known that because of our families, but I just wanted to tell you that so you knew," Tamaki took another breath, "It killed me when you said that you and Haruhi were together, and it hurt even more when you two got married, and then you said that you were having a baby. And I ju-" he stopped as Kyouya rose a hand, silently telling him to shut up, basically. "I'm sorry."_

_"I know, Tamaki," Kyouya said in a calm voice. Tamaki sighed, looking down at the floor, shifting his weight nervously. So what would his friend say? Would he tell him to leave? Would he yell at him? He sighed and waited, the silence clawing him to pieces. "And you're right, we could never be together. Even before Haruhi and I became a couple. Our parents would never allow it, that's why I broke it off when I did," he said. "I didn't want to hurt you, Tamaki." _

_Tamaki stared at him for a long moment. "S-so... What are you saying?" he asked, completely oblivious._

_"I love you, too," Kyouya said, stepping close to his friend, he wrapped an arm around Tamaki's waist, pulling him close and kissing him passionately._

_Tamaki blinked slowly a few times, too shocked to move, but melted into the touch after the shock was over, and kissed back. The familiar lips feeling so good against his own, the warm wet tongue that tasted the exact same slipping into his mouth, and the firm, but gentle hold that held him tightly. But all of it was gone far too quickly. He whimpered as his love brought his arms back and stepped away from him as if nothing happened. "Well, thank you for coming," he said. "I don't think I could have gotten through it if you weren't there," he continued. "You should go and get some rest. It was a long night. And I should probably get back to my wife."_

_Tamaki looked at him, eyes wide and jaw slightly unhinged. What just happened? Or was the kiss just his imagination? "K-Kyouya?" he asked, hoping that his voice portrayed his confusion enough._

_"Yes, Daddy?" Kyouya asked, smirking slightly. _

_"Nothing," he sighed. "Mommy," he said as Kyouya walked off back to Haruhi's room, and Tamaki headed towards the exit, but before he reached the door to exit the nursery viewing room, Kyouya looked over his shoulder at his blond friend._

_"Is it okay if I visit after we get the baby settled in?" Kyouya asked. "I have to say, we don't spend nearly enough time with each other."_

_Tamaki, confused once again, turned around. "Huh?" he asked, was this really Kyouya? The Kyouya he knew in high school? The stoic, masked face, Kyouya that he constantly annoyed? But he smiled, and nodded, they were both very different. They had grown, and Tamaki felt allot better about everything all of a sudden, and couldn't wait until Kyouya visited._

Maybe I was never as smart as I thought,  
Maybe we can never be as good as we want,  
Maybe you just didn't need me enough,  
Maybe we're too clever to be falling in love like this,  
Like this.

"What was it, Tamaki?" Kyouya asked looking at the blond, they were standing in front of the nursery. Tamaki realized that he had been daydreaming for the past few minutes and sighed.

"Nevermind, it's nothing, it could never happen anyways," Tamaki said. "I'll see you soon, I guess. Night," he said.

"Okay," Kyouya said. "Goodnight, Tamaki."

Tamaki began walking away, and right before the door closed he swore he cold hear Kyouya whisper; "I love you, Tamaki." The door clicked closed as Tamaki shook his head, and walked away, his thoughts clouded and confusing.

Secrets told in the silence of my sin,  
And I'm the one who loses in the end.

But Tamaki didn't go back, he didn't turn around to see if he did say it, he continued walking. Kyouya seemed happy enough, and Haruhi was, also. He didn't want to ruin anything, so he figured it was just the best.

Kyouya sighed, leaning against the glass and pressing his forehead to it, looking in to his baby girl. 'But it would never work between us, Tamaki. Don't pretend you don't know that I can see how you look at me. I know what you were going to say. You're still as predictable as ever, but don't think that it doesn't hurt me, it hurts me allot to see you walk away like that, chocking down your words in fear. But your Suoh, Tamaki. You're the headmaster's son, who will take over the business, and I am the third Otori son, who has to keep up a reputation. If we were together, it would be disastrous and we would be torn apart. I'm doing this for your own good.' He thought as he stared through the glass. He leaned back and walked back into Haruhi's room.

So I let you go,  
And I watch you leave,  
And I hold my breath,  
So you don't hear me scream,  
When you walk away,  
But the words are only in my head,  
It's not what I said,  
It's what I didn't say.

* * *

_Well? Did ya like it? Leave me a comment oh and..._

_**I am taking oneshot requests for the fandoms: Twilight, Ouran High School Host Club, Inukami, Inuyasha, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter (some pairings) and The Sight. So if you want me to I will do a christmas one shot for your favorite pairing in one of those fandoms. Give me the pairing and overall 'theme/plot' like if there's a word, phrase, song, episode, whatever you want me to base it around tell me, and I shall. Thank you!!! Byezzz!!!!!!!**  
_


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